The Search for Happiness

My husband and I found a quiet gem of a movie to rent while the kids were away at camp this summer.  "Hector & The Search for Happiness" is the story of quirky psychiatrist Hector and his journey, both through geography and experiences, to seek out the things that make people happy, so that he might find his own elusive joy.  It was surprisingly good, and the message is one that resonates (spoiler alert here):  happiness is not the absence of pain or hurt, and it is not solely the presence of joy and satisfaction.  It is the pulsing, chaotic mix of all the feelings we experience in life.

On his search, Hector takes note of what happiness is, and what it isn't. And the movie ends just like you want it to.  Some of his character's realizations are:

"Happiness is being loved for exactly who you are."

That, of course, is what God wants us to know - that He loves us where we are, right now, as is.... we are enough.  So if God loves us for exactly who we are, where we are, why can't we love each other, and ourselves, the same way?

"Avoiding unhappiness is not the road to happiness."

This one is a newer lightbulb for me.  As J and I navigate the next phase of our marriage, we've learned that one trait we've both shared through the years is tiptoeing around the tough stuff.  By avoiding fights, or anger (or even, frankly,  some minor annoyances) we've deprived our relationship of some of the pulsing, chaotic mix of emotions that life and marriage and partnerships inevitably undergo.  We've taken great pains to "protect" each other from conflict, from things that might make us angry, and from things that might make us hurt.  And in doing so - in this silly, subconscious effort to protect ourselves and our bond -we've cheated ourselves out of experiencing many of the things that would strengthen that very bond.

"He took comfort in the rich, random patterns of his life."

Amen.  But this is the toughest lesson of all to learn. It's often only in hindsight that we can see where times of trial or suffering or blood/sweat/tears formed a rich, unique and beautiful pattern, where we thought or hoped there should just be...a flower.    Which leads to this last gem - about how we should view our joys, our suffering, the good stuff and the tough stuff: with gratitude.

"Happiness is a certain way of seeing things."  Yes, it is.






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