What I've Done This Week and Why I Might Be Tired

Photo: Kristine's Famous Pumpkin Cookies (At least what's left of them)

Sometimes I don't give myself enough credit for what is accomplished during a week, and instead focus on all the things I didn't get done.  For example, my current panic is that I didn't look ahead on my calendar to realize I'm hosting a meeting at my house in 3 days - a meeting that requires a clean house and beautiful spread of treats. Oops.  Guess I'll be baking on Sunday afternoon.

But what did happen this week is this:  our 22nd wedding anniversary; a day long volleyball tournament; a 2 hour baseball game; yard work, job work, grocery trips;  taxi-driving to ballet, baseball, basketball and school; a round trip to Arkansas for lunch with my mother-in-law; a sewer leak in the backyard; cooking three dinners and making numerous lunches; put a contract on a new house and then withdrew it; prepared our house to put on the market and then withdrew it; led a volunteer meeting focused on homelessness and poverty; met with the city planning director to discuss homelessness and poverty; hosted an evening dinner meeting for 25 riders who are biking from here to Nashville to raise money ($100,000!) for women and families who need housing; and then my neighbor died.

So maybe I can let myself be tired and not fake too much interest in the playoff games that my husband and son are up watching each night.  (Go Dodgers & Royals).

What I want to take the time to do tonight is to mourn the loss of our wonderful, young, fit and generous neighbor David, who died so young at age 47 of complications from a brain tumor.  David and his adorable wife Amy were so cute together and he so obviously loved her.  They raised two children, who are now in their early 20s, and family meant everything to David.  He gave my own husband lots of encouragement and humor across our backyards that touched - one dad to another, as he told stories of raising his own children in sports and school.  And his faithful yellow lab Maverick, who reminded us so much of our own Ellie who died at 14.

And when J and I told David about the baseball league we helped run for kids with disabilities, David came to check it out one week - and then came faithfully to serve as pitcher most Saturday mornings for 2 years until he became sick.  We saw his son get married just less than a year ago.  So it's all just very...sad.   His life was so meaningful - hard worker, servant, family man, athlete - that it's hard to believe he is gone so young.

His was a life that exemplified the verse I've been reading every day for a few weeks - Proverbs 16:3: "Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed."  Some days I wake up and just "plow ahead."  Some days I wake up full of energy for my family, my marriage, my work.  But on all of those days, I try to apply Proverbs 16:3, and tell myself that with grace and prayer, anything done for God will be a success.

Ultimately, after the long should-we-or-shouldn't-we-move discussions, and backing out of a contract which disappointed the sellers and our friend the realtor, we had some nice reminders of why we love our little community neighborhood.  My friend showed up with her famous pumpkin cookies with buttercream frosting ("to thank us for making the decision to stay"); J helped a neighbor move some furniture, which turned out some funny stories; and our kids were ultimately happy they were staying put.  I've learned (the hard way) that whatever plans we make or move ahead with, if we commit our actions to God, we'll succeed.  Just not always in ways we predict.

Priorities, Protection, & Preparation

So I had one of those really great conversations with a friend yesterday that was spontaneous, yet connecting and authentic.  I stopped by her house to drop something off and we had a 30-minute talk that touched on authenticity, protection, preparation, but mainly - priorities.

My friend B is going through some tough stuff right now - her husband has started a new business, he's in a volunteer position that is engaged in some public controversy, and she's currently nursing her sister through recovery after surgery to repair a broken vertebrae.  So the sister has taken up residence while B and family care for her until she's able to live on her own again.  It was a reminder of how quickly life can change - and the need to be adaptable, to be prepared for life's challenges.

In addition to B's sister, and my husband's treatment for depression this year, we have another friend who's spent 2015 facing a serious illness, a friend going through a divorce, one going through a very public job change, friends who struggle with their children in school, the illness of parents, etc.  B and I talked about all the things that have happened to people we know, and how quickly life can be up-ended.  It makes us consider our priorities, where we spend our time, and are we "ready" for the challenges that will inevitably come?

First, priorities:  B and I talked about how crisis makes you want to circle the wagons... hold your family close.  Facing a crisis really makes you consider where you spend your time.    I spend alot of time with my husband and children.  Time well spent? Yes.  But I also spend alot of time on volunteer committees and boards.  Am I committed to them, do I enjoy them?  Mostly. But am I passionate about all of them?  No.  I now look at every meeting, every volunteer commitment, as an hour away from the more important priorities of my family, my friends, and my job.  So yep, need to purge some of those commitments for sure.  After all, I only have 3 more "first days of school" with my oldest two kiddos.  And, because of extra commitments this week, I'm struggling to find time to bake my best friend's annual coconut birthday cake.  And THAT has to be a priority.

I also spend alot of time in the car - driving 40 minutes round trip to the kids' school, often up to 3 or 4 times a day when you factor in pickups and drop offs and events and sports practice.  We live in our dream home right now - but there's a lovely house for sale three minutes from the school.  Moving would be a big change, but have lots of positive effects on our schedules.  Priority?  Decision to be made this week.

Next, preparation: Are we ever really "prepared" for sudden change, whether it's positive or negative? Sudden illness, sudden loss, or maybe even a golden opportunity that sneaks up?  The answer is no, and yes.  If you're in prayer, and maintain the faith that God's grace and mercy will sustain you, then you can be "prepared."  But that doesn't mean that life's challenges won't knock you to your knees, or take your breath away for a moment.  But remember  - He is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalms 34).  My friend B and I both lean on our faith to face those challenges, and I don't know how others can do it without that core strength and hope that comes through faith!  You can only "prepare" in the sense of knowing that life will change, it will throw you curveballs, people will hurt you, your family will suffer.  But there's always hope around the corner.

Your hope - your faith - is what gives you the "buts" in 2 Corinthians 4:  We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed.  We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.  We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.

Our friends, our families, are all going to experience challenges and hardships.  Have those conversations with your friends, your partners, your children, your parents.... share your struggles, so others can share theirs.  If we're all authentic, all honest, we can help each other be prepared.