Forests and Fields

Ugh, so apparently I'm going to be writing about ups and downs.  We are vacationing in one of our family's favorite places - Northern Michigan, where you can have cool nights and hot days and woodland hikes and lake swimming and beach fires all rolled into one awesome week.  But as we (and I do mean "we" - it's a family experience) struggle through my husband's depression I'm reminded that it isn't going to give us a vacation reprieve.

Yesterday,  when J spent a good part of his day alone inside, away from the sunshine and family, I thought "I should write a post about tips for dealing with a spouse's depression."  But then I thought - no, that's the action-oriented side of me.  What I really needed was to READ some tips about dealing with a spouse's depression.  So that's what I did.  And it helped.  And they all said mostly the same thing.  The best was a guest article in Psychology Today by a man whose wife had averted suicide.  "Get lots of support" and "Take Care of Yourself."  I'm trying to do more of the second.  But the problem is that when you have to shoulder more than your share of family responsibility alone, it's a lonely existence.  But, I am doing more self-care, and learning to do more activities alone or with the kids (ie, if I want to do it, I just do it, I don't stay home just because J wants to).

But late in the day he rallied and we took the 3 grumbling teens for short hike through the woods to a gorgeous overlook, with sweeping views of Lake Michigan and my favorite sight - the "line where blue meets blue" - seemingly endless blue water meeting the vivid blue sky.  We took pictures (my youngest may not like hiking A WHOLE MILE but she can't resist a good instagram post), we talked and laughed and walked.  On the way back the loop trail emerged from the dim woods into a sunny field, and as the sun hit us I thought, "yes, this is a bit like our day.  Some cloudiness followed by times when I see the clearing."    I see progress in our battle with this depression, and along with the tips written by other families, I'd add - take heart when you see the sun emerge, because it's a good sign.  Encourage it.  I truly believe brighter days are ahead.